This is such a good post. I'm not a mom but I'm seeing my cousins starting to raise the little ones and I definitely wonder how I can be a helpful aunt with parenting them.
My son turned 18 in May, graduated high school in June and is off to college in September. Their friend group/sports teams/social activity groups etc have a lot of influence once they enter middle school years and beyond. You cannot always control that the way you can control a lot more up util are 14 or so. This is why communication is huge, keeping an eye on friends, watching how coaches interact with them is a huge piece of the pie.
This is so important for me to read right now. Watching him navigate friendships at 11 feels so hard - I want to jump in so badly, and know that I can't and shouldn't. I really appreciate your transparency.
Filing this away for a few years down the road—I love all of this advice. Also, if you’re looking for a calm board game we love cooperative ones! Forbidden island (and all the spin offs) are excellent.
We also have the see it through the season rule. Most of the Y leagues we participate in are 8 weeks total and we reassess when they send out the registration emails. The only thing I won’t let my youngest quit is swim lessons, that is a non negotiable and I’m really hoping we will finish this summer with him swimming a full lap.
I make my kids watch YouTube on the app on the tv so I can see it, we also like Mark Rober. The adults discussed that the cousins aren’t allowed to watch YouTube at their grandparents’ house anymore because we couldn’t provide the level of supervision we wanted and no personal devices will be used if they’re having a cousin sleepover, we don’t want them on iPads/tablets. In our family no one has a phone yet, but the Nintendo Switch has caused some drama at the beach with the cousins.
My kids have gotten much better with board games but still working on losing as a skill so my 7 yo can get very upset when it doesn’t go his way. 3 years ago every board got flipped, so I know he’s making progress even if there’s some yelling. I spend a lot of time talking about respectful ways to talk and common courtesy, I have always gotten good reports from school and camp but my kids bicker and yell much more at each other at home.
I had to read Jenny's essays multiple times to really understand what she was saying, and that she was actually saying it to all of Al Gore's Internet.
This is such a good and gentle guide Hitha! As a mom of sons myself, I am keen to start incorporating these…One question I had was do you read the books the kids do beforehand or alongside them?
Depends on the book! I’ll read some of the books Rho is reading on my own (sometimes before he reads them, sometimes after). Dragon Masters - Rhaki and I read together, and he re-reads on his own. I read Aru Shah to him (and did the same with Rho, who’s gone on to re-read it independently)
We also have the see it through the season rule. Most of the Y leagues we participate in are 8 weeks total and we reassess when they send out the registration emails. The only thing I won’t let my youngest quit is swim lessons, that is a non negotiable and I’m really hoping we will finish this summer with him swimming a full lap.
I make my kids watch YouTube on the app on the tv so I can see it, we also like Mark Rober. The adults discussed that the cousins aren’t allowed to watch YouTube at their grandparents’ house anymore because we couldn’t provide the level of supervision we wanted and no personal devices will be used if they’re having a cousin sleepover, we don’t want them on iPads/tablets. In our family no one has a phone yet, but the Nintendo Switch has caused some drama at the beach with the cousins.
My kids have gotten much better with board games but still working on losing as a skill so my 7 yo can get very upset when it doesn’t go his way. 3 years ago every board got flipped, so I know he’s making progress even if there’s some yelling. I spend a lot of time talking about respectful ways to talk and common courtesy, I have always gotten good reports from school and camp but my kids bicker and yell much more at each other at home.
We also have the see it through the season rule. Most of the Y leagues we participate in are 8 weeks total and we reassess when they send out the registration emails. The only thing I won’t let my youngest quit is swim lessons, that is a non negotiable and I’m really hoping we will finish this summer with him swimming a full lap.
I make my kids watch YouTube on the app on the tv so I can see it, we also like Mark Rober. The adults discussed that the cousins aren’t allowed to watch YouTube at their grandparents’ house anymore because we couldn’t provide the level of supervision we wanted and no personal devices will be used if they’re having a cousin sleepover, we don’t want them on iPads/tablets. In our family no one has a phone yet, but the Nintendo Switch has caused some drama at the beach with the cousins.
My kids have gotten much better with board games but still working on losing as a skill so my 7 yo can get very upset when it doesn’t go his way. 3 years ago every board got flipped, so I know he’s making progress even if there’s some yelling. I spend a lot of time talking about respectful ways to talk and common courtesy, I have always gotten good reports from school and camp but my kids bicker and yell much more at each other at home.
We also have the see it through the season rule. Most of the Y leagues we participate in are 8 weeks total and we reassess when they send out the registration emails. The only thing I won’t let my youngest quit is swim lessons, that is a non negotiable and I’m really hoping we will finish this summer with him swimming a full lap.
I make my kids watch YouTube on the app on the tv so I can see it, we also like Mark Rober. The adults discussed that the cousins aren’t allowed to watch YouTube at their grandparents’ house anymore because we couldn’t provide the level of supervision we wanted and no personal devices will be used if they’re having a cousin sleepover, we don’t want them on iPads/tablets. In our family no one has a phone yet, but the Nintendo Switch has caused some drama at the beach with the cousins.
My kids have gotten much better with board games but still working on losing as a skill so my 7 yo can get very upset when it doesn’t go his way. 3 years ago every board got flipped, so I know he’s making progress even if there’s some yelling. I spend a lot of time talking about respectful ways to talk and common courtesy, I have always gotten good reports from school and camp but my kids bicker and yell much more at each other at home.
Just found out I’m having a baby boy this afternoon - I can already tell I’m going to return back to these ideas many, many times. 🩷
This is such a good post. I'm not a mom but I'm seeing my cousins starting to raise the little ones and I definitely wonder how I can be a helpful aunt with parenting them.
My son turned 18 in May, graduated high school in June and is off to college in September. Their friend group/sports teams/social activity groups etc have a lot of influence once they enter middle school years and beyond. You cannot always control that the way you can control a lot more up util are 14 or so. This is why communication is huge, keeping an eye on friends, watching how coaches interact with them is a huge piece of the pie.
This is so important for me to read right now. Watching him navigate friendships at 11 feels so hard - I want to jump in so badly, and know that I can't and shouldn't. I really appreciate your transparency.
Filing this away for a few years down the road—I love all of this advice. Also, if you’re looking for a calm board game we love cooperative ones! Forbidden island (and all the spin offs) are excellent.
We need cooperative board games (they are almost toxically competitive). Checking this one out!
My kids like Dinosaur Escape! All the dinosaurs need to get to the island before the volcano erupts.
We also have the see it through the season rule. Most of the Y leagues we participate in are 8 weeks total and we reassess when they send out the registration emails. The only thing I won’t let my youngest quit is swim lessons, that is a non negotiable and I’m really hoping we will finish this summer with him swimming a full lap.
I make my kids watch YouTube on the app on the tv so I can see it, we also like Mark Rober. The adults discussed that the cousins aren’t allowed to watch YouTube at their grandparents’ house anymore because we couldn’t provide the level of supervision we wanted and no personal devices will be used if they’re having a cousin sleepover, we don’t want them on iPads/tablets. In our family no one has a phone yet, but the Nintendo Switch has caused some drama at the beach with the cousins.
My kids have gotten much better with board games but still working on losing as a skill so my 7 yo can get very upset when it doesn’t go his way. 3 years ago every board got flipped, so I know he’s making progress even if there’s some yelling. I spend a lot of time talking about respectful ways to talk and common courtesy, I have always gotten good reports from school and camp but my kids bicker and yell much more at each other at home.
So good — signed a mom to 10 and 12 year old boys!
The Boy and the Heron was a big hit in our home. Thank you for pulling this all together!
Ooooh checking it out now!
Thank you for this…also, love that photo of the 3 of you! Also, that Jenny Mollen stuff is wild…
I had to read Jenny's essays multiple times to really understand what she was saying, and that she was actually saying it to all of Al Gore's Internet.
This is such a good and gentle guide Hitha! As a mom of sons myself, I am keen to start incorporating these…One question I had was do you read the books the kids do beforehand or alongside them?
Depends on the book! I’ll read some of the books Rho is reading on my own (sometimes before he reads them, sometimes after). Dragon Masters - Rhaki and I read together, and he re-reads on his own. I read Aru Shah to him (and did the same with Rho, who’s gone on to re-read it independently)
Sounds good! Thank you for sharing!
We also have the see it through the season rule. Most of the Y leagues we participate in are 8 weeks total and we reassess when they send out the registration emails. The only thing I won’t let my youngest quit is swim lessons, that is a non negotiable and I’m really hoping we will finish this summer with him swimming a full lap.
I make my kids watch YouTube on the app on the tv so I can see it, we also like Mark Rober. The adults discussed that the cousins aren’t allowed to watch YouTube at their grandparents’ house anymore because we couldn’t provide the level of supervision we wanted and no personal devices will be used if they’re having a cousin sleepover, we don’t want them on iPads/tablets. In our family no one has a phone yet, but the Nintendo Switch has caused some drama at the beach with the cousins.
My kids have gotten much better with board games but still working on losing as a skill so my 7 yo can get very upset when it doesn’t go his way. 3 years ago every board got flipped, so I know he’s making progress even if there’s some yelling. I spend a lot of time talking about respectful ways to talk and common courtesy, I have always gotten good reports from school and camp but my kids bicker and yell much more at each other at home.
We also have the see it through the season rule. Most of the Y leagues we participate in are 8 weeks total and we reassess when they send out the registration emails. The only thing I won’t let my youngest quit is swim lessons, that is a non negotiable and I’m really hoping we will finish this summer with him swimming a full lap.
I make my kids watch YouTube on the app on the tv so I can see it, we also like Mark Rober. The adults discussed that the cousins aren’t allowed to watch YouTube at their grandparents’ house anymore because we couldn’t provide the level of supervision we wanted and no personal devices will be used if they’re having a cousin sleepover, we don’t want them on iPads/tablets. In our family no one has a phone yet, but the Nintendo Switch has caused some drama at the beach with the cousins.
My kids have gotten much better with board games but still working on losing as a skill so my 7 yo can get very upset when it doesn’t go his way. 3 years ago every board got flipped, so I know he’s making progress even if there’s some yelling. I spend a lot of time talking about respectful ways to talk and common courtesy, I have always gotten good reports from school and camp but my kids bicker and yell much more at each other at home.
We also have the see it through the season rule. Most of the Y leagues we participate in are 8 weeks total and we reassess when they send out the registration emails. The only thing I won’t let my youngest quit is swim lessons, that is a non negotiable and I’m really hoping we will finish this summer with him swimming a full lap.
I make my kids watch YouTube on the app on the tv so I can see it, we also like Mark Rober. The adults discussed that the cousins aren’t allowed to watch YouTube at their grandparents’ house anymore because we couldn’t provide the level of supervision we wanted and no personal devices will be used if they’re having a cousin sleepover, we don’t want them on iPads/tablets. In our family no one has a phone yet, but the Nintendo Switch has caused some drama at the beach with the cousins.
My kids have gotten much better with board games but still working on losing as a skill so my 7 yo can get very upset when it doesn’t go his way. 3 years ago every board got flipped, so I know he’s making progress even if there’s some yelling. I spend a lot of time talking about respectful ways to talk and common courtesy, I have always gotten good reports from school and camp but my kids bicker and yell much more at each other at home.