hi.

on finding my way back here.

It's 11:42 on Wednesday morning. The air is warm and sticky, but it's worth sitting outside for the breeze that floats by every couple of minutes.

On the table is an empty saucer, a crumb from the chocolate chip cookie remaining. Contemporary jazz fusion is softly playing (thanks, Spotify daylist). The wind is fluttering the pages of my planner, and I can make out the sounds of birds, cicadas, and the occasional siren adding to the music playing from the speaker.

This exact moment is one I've been imagining since we first visited the plot of land that would become our Pennsylvania home, over a year ago. I fantasized writing for hours in this exact spot, furiously typing with the trees and birds (and the occasional deer) to keep me company.

I thought I'd be writing my next book, or a profound essay, or the latest #5SmartReads newsletter in the daydream. I didn't think it'd be an overdue reintroduction, and trying to explain what I've been up to for the past 3 months.

The former is easier. I'm Hitha - a self-proclaimed multi-hyphenate. Professionally, I'm the CEO of Rhoshan Pharmaceuticals, an author (my most recent book, We're Speaking - The Life Lessons of Kamala Harris is now in paperback!), and a speaker. Personally, I'm a voracious reader, a casual crafter and home cook, a politics enthusiast (yes, I'm living my best life right now), and a sports fan (again, living my best life). I've been focused on my family - my two sons, my husband, and my parents - for the past 3 months, along with my own health.

There were some lessons I needed to learn during this time away. I had to untangle my sense of self-worth to how my social media content performs or what sponsorships I was landing. I had to establish new habits to better manage my stress and anxious feelings instead of scrolling social media or Substack. I had to figure out if I still wanted to write, and how I wanted to write. And when I realized the answer to the last question was a resounding yes, I had to learn how to write for myself before I wrote for others again.

I also needed to finish our Pennsylvania home (my parents' new primary home and where we will spend our summers and weekends) and get my kids settled into a more suburban life and new camp. I chose to add some things to my plate that felt urgent at the time (sleepaway camp search for our older son, volunteering for the Harris campaign).

As I sit here and let the words flow out of my hands, I wonder how many of these "needs" or choices were to distract myself from this exact moment - sitting on the patio, writing.

That this moment is enough - and knowing that I am enough - is how I know I'm ready to return to this space and share these musings.

I'm returning to this space with the same mindset I have for Instagram - to simply have fun. I plan to keep a streamlined version of the regular weekly format for all subscribers, and start sharing installments of a novel I'm writing along with personal essays for paid subscribers.

To echo one of my favorite phrases from Vice President Harris, I'm unburdening myself from what no longer feels right to me and opening myself to who I could - and want - to be, and giving myself the space to play and try.

That's my wish for you.

Release yourself from the narratives and the things you think you should do. Let yourself sit in quiet uncertainty until you see a new path, or hear a new message. Take your time on this new path, and release yourself of any expectations as you figure out if it's the right one.

Keep calm, my friend. There will be plenty to carry on. Drop the load and take this moment to yourself, however you can.

I'll be here - on the patio staring at the trees, feeling the breeze, and soaking in nature's quiet (and when I feel like it, some gentle jazz).