issue #128 - the one going back to basics
The highest of highs. And some low lows.
That sums up the past 6 weeks or so.
The highs are still getting me through this lull right now - my Taco Bell tour, some incredibly well-received speaking engagements, new partnership opportunities with brands I truly love, and the week I just spent with my family in one of the most gorgeous places ever.
As I sit and type these words, I’m able to put the lows in perspective and recognize that they aren’t as low as I originally felt. The speaking engagement that I didn’t feel great about? I learned a lot about who my right audience is and I retooled the talk to be more specific for the groups I’m delivering it to in the coming months.
The vacation we just went on? I set impossibly high expectations for it and assumed a lot - that my kids would be perfect angels and that I would be fully focused and present.
The reality? My kids were kids (and toddlers WILL toddler), I was so depleted from the past few weeks that I didn’t have the energy to be present the way I wanted, and I threw myself a pretty giant pity party and spent an evening crying in the bathroom.
I’m home for the next 3 weeks (which feels like an eternity after 5 weeks of travel). And I’m making very few plans and setting manageable expectations for this time.
Ambitious morning routines? I don’t know her. Getting back to in-bed Headspace meditations, a quick yoga flow in the mornings, and a Central Park walk after school drop off? That I can do, and more importantly it’s what I want to do.
My phone is going to be in the drawer it belongs in when I’m with my family or in my purse when I’m with friends, and tucked into my absurd phone bed by 8 pm every night.
Dinners will be whatever I ordered from Blue Apron and my go-to recipes (black bean-kimchi quesadillas, hearty vegetable pastas, naan pizza, enchilada quinoa) paired with salad kits.
And aside from my much-anticipated Bridgerton Viewing Day on Tuesday, I want to spend more time reading or stitching instead of watching scammers scam on television.
I’m going back to basics. Do a few things, to the best of my ability, and find my footing again after the rollercoaster I’ve rode for the past 6 weeks.
What We Read This Week
Hitha
Fake by Erika Katz - scammer art is truly superb right now (WeCrashed, The Dropout, Bad Vegan) that it’s set a near impossible bar for others to reach. That sums up how I feel about Fake - it was good, but not as good as these shows. I felt the same about Katz’s first book The Boys Club. Emma is fairly unlikeable (though I understand why after her whole backstory is revealed at the end of the book). It’s a good book, and definitely a quick read that does a great job of helping you peek inside a rarefied, dramatic world. But if you’re the kind of reader who likes to fall for the characters, Katz may not be your author.
I’m So Effing Tired by Amy Shah - this is one of the books I re-read when I need a reset, and skimming it during our travel day home yesterday was so helpful in understanding why the simple practices we should do (getting sunlight in the mornings, exercise on an empty stomach, when to eat and what we should eat) and helping me set some manageable practices to re-center myself. This is a book I have on all the mediums - the physical book, the Kindle version, and the audiobook - and revisit all the versions regularly. If you’re in a bit of a funk and need to recalibrate, I can’t recommend this book more highly.
Marisa
The Hunting Party by Lucy Foley- I've been on a bit of a Lucy Foley kick this year, starting out with The Invitation right after the New Year and now digging into this one. The Invitation was all glitz and glamour and one of those books that just transports you into another era (needless to say, I loved it), and this one is the kind of book that is simultaneously somehow kind of lighthearted while also being twisted and mysterious. Both have been fun to read and hard to put down, which is really all I'm looking for when real life gets kind of stressful.
Sonal
The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward by Daniel H. Pink- Just finished this book and it has reframed how I look at regret. Not in a "no regrets" kind of way, but in a way to help me reopen events in my past and learn from them. How regret isn't bad- it's a place for ownership and growth.
Diksha
The Poetry of Emily Dickinson - My 11 year old recently lamented that she disliked poetry which surprised both my husband and I given how much we both love poetry. In an effort to rectify this, and realizing kids these days have so little exposure to poetry, we've been reading poetry over breakfast and Dickinson's poetry always resonates with all of us, even my 8 year old. Groggy mornings where conversation is hard to start, poetry is almost like a gentle start and gets our brains working. Try it.
Top #5SmartReads of the Week
At 28, Kelly Bishop Was Wearing Hot Pants & Preparing To Leave Her First Husband (Bustle)
Let’s Talk Hobbies! (The Stripe)
The Buying Guide: Stellar Values (Buy The Case)
‘We Told You So’ How The West Didn’t Listen To The Countries That Know Russia Best (Politico)
How Tunde Oyeneyin Went From ‘Last One Picked’ To Peloton Instructor (Elle)
The rest of the week’s reads (and conversations!) are below:
Your Questions, Answered
Where is this paradise?
We stayed at Ambergris Cay in Turks & Caicos, and it was incredible!
Happy Bridgerton Day!
Ya’ll the day I have planned on Tuesday to enjoy the entire season!
I have a brand new tin of Diaspora chai masala, am making Palak’s cucumber sandwiches and Whole Foods samosas, and have so many bubble cocktails to be enjoyed in my new goblets from Estelle Colored Glass. I even have a new Nesara kaftan for it!
Sounds like you still contact nap? I’m trying to stop but I don’t want to.
We have been this week because the heat is a lot and wears Rhaki out!
We’ve mostly phased it out, but if he needs 30 minutes one afternoon, we don’t fight it.
Headed to NYC in 2 weeks. What outfits should I pack? First big travel in 2 years!
The weather can still be temperamental this time of the year, so I would bring a nice mid-weight coat and comfortable shoes that are somewhat weatherproof (nice sneakers, or these ankle boots I’ll be wearing all season).
As far as outfits go, I pulled some of my favorite pieces into this Armoire collection. Jeans or trousers, lightweight sweaters, cool blouses, and a jumpsuit or dress is what I’d wear.
Invite the whole class for a preschool birthday or select few close friends?
Depends on your kid!
Big parties can be overwhelming, and we had years when we did a smaller birthday for Rho because it was better for him, and now we do whole class parties.
I’ve found that causal park or playground parties are a great way to include the whole class without it being stressful, if weather permits! Outdoors is also safer with COVID as well.
Thoughts on being connected with an ex on social media?
The exes I’m on good terms with, we’re still connected on social! I’m friends with some of them and grateful to have them in my life.
I don’t think about the bad exes- if they follow or look me up, that’s on them.
Any advice for the early pregnancy phase for a FTM? So far doing well but the anxiety…
A very cautious congratulations to you!
It is nerve wracking and when I was expecting for the first time, I felt absolutely awful and not at all myself.
Entertaining distractions (for me, watching Outlander) and doing the bare minimum from a health perspective because I couldn’t handle much more (prenatal vitamins, anti-nausea tea and green apples with peanut butter- the only things I could keep down, and audiobooks with a walk when I felt up for it) helped. I also got myself some new loungewear because that’s all that I could handle wearing- Nesara’s kaftans (use code hitha for $10 off!) would be ideal (I’m truly obsessed and they’re all I wear in the warmer months)
Where did you get that monogrammed bag you wore in your travel outfit?
It’s by Lily & Bean! I’ve had it for 4 years and it’s held up beautifully.
How do you deal with anxiety? Specifically work anxiety?
Right now? Not particularly well. I feel a lot more anxious and it’s affection my behavior - I’m overreacting to everything or taking small things extremely personally. I’m kind of spiraling right now.
Something I’m doing right now is to list out all the things that are contributing to this anxiety, and I’m going to go over it with my coach this week. She’ll help me work through this list and address what needs to be addressed, release any deadweight, and come up with a plan to move forward.
I also desperately need to get back into a routine, after almost 6 straight weeks of travel. I’m focusing on cooking healthy meals this week, moving my body every day, prioritizing good sleep, and easing back into journaling and meditation.
I just started this book, and think it may be really helpful for you as well!
What’s one thing you’re going to prioritize or go back to basics this week?
xo,
HPN
Just wanted to share my love of this newsletter, especially the weekend edition! I love your honesty and vulnerability - it's so refreshing and encouraging. And I love the new-ish Q&A section. TBH I look forward to reading this every weekend, it's become part of my Sunday morning routine 🙂