issue #156 - the one reminding you to...
This newsletter is a pretty packed one, so this editor’s letter is a minimal one with just a few reminders as we continue/enter the holiday seasons:
Drink some water and take your vitamins. Take a deep breath. Block off time on your calendar to do something for yourself, even if it’s just staring at the Apple TV drone screensaver videos (though I would recommend this jazzy cafe vibes video instead). Text a friend that you’re thinking about them. Make yourself your favorite meal and eat it on your couch while watching your favorite film or show. Hug someone. Go to sleep early.
Am I writing this to remind myself of these things? Absolutely. But I hope you do the same.
This Week’s Links
Aliza Licht is a legend in the digital space. I saw her speak at Lucky FABB over 10 years ago and scribbled down everything she said about building your personal brand, so to be on her podcast was a dream come true. We talk about it all - giving and receiving feedback, developing your voice, when to speak and when to pause, and what’s next for me. Give it a listen!
My Birdies Swans have been my go-to shoe for all my Diwali events, and my feet’s thanking me for opting for the most comfortable flat ever. I was thrilled to partner with Birdies to share some of my Diwali looks, and they generously offered a code (HITHAPALEPU10 for 10% off!) to my community. If you’ve had your eye on my party shoes (or these ones, which I just bought!), there’s no better time to treat yourself than now.
We were overdue for a towels refresh (we were still using the ones from our wedding registry 12 years ago!). Weezie came through with their Piped Edge Starter Pack, and these linens are as cozy (like wrapping yourself in a cloud) as they are stylish. I’d been a longtime fan of their makeup towels and short-sleeved robe, and am slowly switching all the towels in our home over to Weezie. You can check out all of my favorites here, and use code HITHA10 for 10% off your order (which can be stacked with other discounts, like the 15% off the Piped Edge set!)
The only two health habits I’ve been consistent with are my Athletic Greens and Equilibria supplements every single day. The Daily Drops and Gummies are how I start my day, and currently available as a Starter Kit for $58 (normally it’s twice that!). If you’re an EQ regular, it’s a great time to stock up their gummies (especially the sleep gummies), daily drops, and rapid melts at 20% off. And to save even more, use code hitha for an additional 15% off.
What We Else Read This Week
Street Scholar by Dr. Angel Jones- The inimitable Dr. Angel Jones just released her UNBELIEVABLE book "Street Scholar", and I beg you, run, don't walk, to your nearest bookstore to buy this. This is a fascinating, vulnerable, and personal rumination on Dr. Jones' rise to fame on social media and how she uses her platform for public scholarship - "to educate, advocate, and liberate".
The Identity- Conscious Educator by Liza A. Talusan- As a former teacher who was always very aware of trying to be inclusive in the classroom, I was thrilled when my former high school teacher turned friend turned client (!!) released her book The Identity-Conscious Educator. Dr. Talusan is a DEI and leadership educator and facilitator, and having known her for over two decades, I can also say, she's a fantastic human and parent. The Identity-Conscious Educator is an absolute must-read for any teacher, administrator, or even for the workplace. The approachable framework for DEI work, as well as the personal stories, provide for an in-depth approach to building inclusive communities inside and outside of school.
This Can’t Be Life by Dana Ward- This is a stunning poetry collection that dissolves borders between poetry and prose. If there’s a text that can inspire anyone to notice the supposedly tiny details of their everyday lives, this is it.
A Caribbean Heiress in Paris by Adriana Herrera- This is my first Adriana Herrera book and I don't know why I waited this long! A big, diverse, interesting cast of characters, set in Paris and Scotland, very HOT marriage of convenience. If you're listening to this as an audiobook, this is 100% a headphones-in situation.
Marisa
The Push by Ashley Audrain and Verity by Colleen Hoover- I just finished reading two of the motherhood-focused psychological thrillers that have been on everyone's TBR lists for the last couple of years and honestly, both were so good. I've seen these novels compared to each other a handful of times on bookstagram but they are different enough - and compelling enough - that I found them both separately to be worth the read.
Top #5SmartReads Of The Week
It's Not Funny Ha-Ha, But Funny Queer (Now That I Mention It)
5 Yoga Poses That Can Help You Release Your Hips And Heal From Trauma (Well + Good)
The uneven energy costs of working from home (The Verge)
What Pregnancy Actually Looks Like Before 10 Weeks- In Pictures (The Guardian)
The rest of the week’s reads + last week’s (and conversations!) are below:
Monday October 24, 2022
Tuesday October 25, 2022
Wednesday October 26, 2022
Thursday October 27, 2022
Friday October 28, 2022
Your Questions, Answered
Birthday gift ideas for a young mom who doesn’t actually need anything?
I have a few ideas:
a Yeti mug (the only way I enjoy hot coffee anymore)
a Hotel Lobby Candle (perfect ‘I don’t know what to give you” gift)
Did the cruise leave out of NYC?
It did! The cruise terminal is on 50th and the West Side Highway, and not having to get on appliance or drive too far was a big attraction for us!
Thoughts on who gets invited to events life White House Diwali party? Who knows who?
I have no clue, but I felt very honored that I was invited and was bummed that I couldn't attend!
Next year, I hope!
How do you get invited to all the dinners with entrepreneurs? Ie Diwali dinner etc.
The entrepreneurial community in NYC- especially among the South Asain women founders- is really welcoming and strong, and show up to support each other when we’re invited.
I’ve been attending Diwali On The Hudson since the beginning, and I credit Megha Desai for really launching one of the first big Diwali celebrations in the city that now have grown to so many parties, like the one Shilpa and Aditi and Minnie hosted last week and others I was away for!
It was my and Sushma’s great honor to gather the South Asain women we’ve met over our 10 years living in NYC last year for my book launch dinner, and Rooshy took the torch this year and gathered many of us again (and introduced us to new women!)
These amazing women have shown up for me, and I show up for them. And while you see the gorgeous pictures and videos, theses are very deep friendships that are cultivated over stressed texts and phone calls, sanity walks in Central Park, and time- just like any relationship.
How to connect with Desi entrepreneurial community?
It’s building relationships, just like anything else! It’s why I pin my upcoming speaking engagement on my feed- while I can’t respond to every DM or request to meet, I will be fully present at these events and happy to connect with anyone who wants to come and say hi!
Many of us share the public events we’re hosting or attending- social media or our newsletters are where you can find those events, and start to build the relationship from that first interaction.
Some of these women are ones I’ve known for over 10 years when we were all just attracting out. Some started as mutual follows on IG and turned into IRL friendships. Some I’ve met through other women. Relationships take effort and investment, but they’re always worth it.
Here is one of my relationship nurturing tips.
Any year-end thank you gift ideas for preschool teachers in a HARD room of 19 3year olds with big feelings?
Check Carmen’s profile- I trust her recommendations on everything, but this especially.
I opt for a generous gift card (Target or VISA) and a thoughtful note, with a picture/scribble form your child.
From Carmen: Hands down the best gift if you’re able to afford something like this. And it’'s not because teacher only want gift cards. I wold use my gift cards to purchase gifts for other people. And since most teachers are off for two weeks I would end up going to get a lot of coffees and lunches with friends during that time and the gift cards came in handy for that. Most educators don’t get a Christmas bonus or anything of the sort so these gift cards are kind of like our bonus. It helps our wallets feel not as stretched during an already stressful time of the year.
And don’t forget about support staff- admin assistant, bus drivers, principal/vp, janitorial crew. A small $5 or $10 card goes a long way!
What kinds of Zillow homes are your favorite to stalk?
Old stone homes or farms in Bucks County
Waterfront homes in Southold, NY
Literally every listing on Upstate Curious (one of the most brilliant uses of social media in real estate!)
Also every home Robert Khederian share
What is the data saying? Are cruises safe now?
Ours was one of the last sails that required negative COVID tests right before boarding (we also needed negative tests earlier in the week to visit Bermuda). Both my husband and I have received our bivalent boosters a few weeks ago (and flu shots!), our kids are fully vaccinated and Rho is boosted, and we still have some prior infection immunity.
I appreciate the required hand washing/ sanitizing before entering any restaurant, and the ships underwent massive filtration upgrades just last year. We had breakfast and lunch outdoors most days, and we minimized travel risk by not getting on an airplane.
We knew there’s risk to us getting sick when we booked it, but we also took as many precautions as we could.
Weird to send holiday cards as a single person with no pets? Photo of just me seems….
I say do it! I love getting holiday cards, especially ones with updates on how the year has been and what you’re looking forward to in the new year.
It’s a double thumbs up for me.
So many members of the community endorsed this idea! Minted has great photo and non-photo options - all I ask is that you share and brag your achievements of the year in this card, because we want to celebrate you!
Best bag for work when you have to carry a heavy laptop?
These are my favorite bags!
Out of these, I would recommend the Cuyana backpack and the Senreve Maestra the most, as they can be worn as backpack or a total and both have some magic at balancing the weight beautifully.
Do you send holiday cards?
Every year I mean to, and every year I forget to.
I may go a non-picture one this year (or do one of the boys!) and send a little update. It’s been a big year for our family and I want to share updates and be this person!
Lacking community and feeling really lonely this Diwali season; any tips on navigating?
Sending you a giant hug!
I love inviting ur non-desi friends to celebrate Diwali with us as much as our desi ones.
What about a Diwali girls night? Order in your favorites, get some dupattas and bangles for every to wear, share a tradition that’s dear to you! You can get some coaster painting kits from Kulture Khazana, watch Hot Mess Holiday in the background, and just bring people together!
What’s a challenge you’re having and how you’re dealing with it?
I’m in the midst of another depressive episode and din’t fully recover from the one over the summer. Managing my mental health during an extremely busy fall is a lot.
When I don’t have to do in-person meetings, I try to create the coziest, most comforting vibe - French cafe vibes streaming from YouTube on my TV, lighting a candle, lining up all my favorite drinks and snacks on the side table, and wearing my favorite cozies while I work.
I was watching a recentAmy Landino YouTube video about win lists, and these save me during these moments because it takes the “must be super productive” pressure off me and helps me readjust my priorities based on how I’m feeling. My win list is very basic in these moments- drinking my Athletic Greens, meditating, going for a walk, tackling my Rhoshan Pharma work before getting on Instagram. Ticking off everything on my win lists helps get into a better work rhythm and also helps me be more present with the kids once they’re home from school. And honestly, I have the greatest parents in the world who are here and really caring for me (making my favorite meals, making sure I eat, just hugging me) in these times.
Tired AF working mom who had to go back to work in 12 weeks, extremely bunt out. Advice?
Going to defer to three friends here who I have gone to in these moments:
Lauren Smith Brody literally wrote the book (and does the workshops!) on returning from parental leave sustainably and successfully. Whether you read her content or book or get your company to sponsor a workshop with her to set you and all working parents up for success, I think it will help a lot!
Dr. Pooja Lakshmin’s company, Gemma, is all about helping moms manage their mental health, and having gone through their monthly challenge, I’m signing up for Gemma to continue getting this very specific support outside of therapy.
Saumya Dave is another incredible mom and mental health resource whose advice has been so helpful these hard moments.
I also want you to know that you deserve better- longer parental leave, a phase-in schedule, flexibility and more chromous work time, and support within the home. How we are working IS NOT WORKING.
Favorite winter or all season boots?
Here are my favorite winter boots!
I love the Sorel sneakers for quick errands or school drop off. I go the Sorel boots if it’s snowing or there are slush piles at every corner. And for looking more polished in the winter, these Blondo Waterproof boots are the BEST (an investment, but i’ve had mine for 5 years and they hold up great!)
Be good to yourself.
xo,
HPN
Always the tonic I need. Thank you dear @Hitha!