issue #202 - the one on wintering

on embracing the mindset instead of loathing the season

This newsletter may look different (or familiar) to you.

I’ve moved the weekly newsletter back to Substack for a variety of reasons (which I’ll spare you). Things may also look a little different as I give this weekly letter a revamp in the coming months (a new name and branding, a zhushed format), but some things will stay the same - the top reads and links to the week’s #5SmartReads and my eclectic musings. If there’s something you want to see more or less of, or if you have any suggestions, I’d love to read them! Just hit reply.

I don’t think I’m alone in dreading winter. I’m not particularly fond of cold weather, waking up and picking my kids up from school when it’s dark, and the general feelings of malaise that sinks in between the holidays and spring.

I have a different approach to this winter, thanks to Katherine May’s excellent book Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times. This book kept me company in the mundane moments of the day (doing dishes, folding laundry, making beds, walking to errands) and gave me a deeper appreciation of approaching winter as a mindset and bringing a bit of magic into the mundane.

I highly recommend this book (the audiobook in particular - the narrator’s voice is so soothing).

May’s musings and recommendations nudged me to think about what I need in this season, and to gently plan for these needs and desires instead of buying into the “new year, new me, big goals” narratives we are bombarded with.

There are the cliché things - making and eating more soups and stews, drinking more tea, having more cozy reading moments. But there’s also some things the book encouraged me to add in my wintering routine. May talks about how outdoor walks and sauna time brought her more energy in the season. Prioritizing sleep in alignment with the longer nights was also a shift that made a difference for her (my own sleep habits could use some greater attention).

The most important lesson I’m taking from this book is to ignore the pressure of “new year, new me!” and these lofty expectations and goals we tend to assign ourselves for January 1, 2024. I’m embracing more offline time, more rest, and pausing some big goals to focus on the following:

• hitting a significant milestone for Rhoshan Pharmaceuticals

• continuing to take care of my health (cooking and eating more at home, maintaining my workout routine, prioritizing 7-8 hours of sleep a night, minimal alcohol this season, staying on top of my medication and doctors’ appointment)

• prioritizing my family and spending quality time together

That’s not to say I don’t still have big goals outside of these. But I’ve tended to set huge goals for every area of my life every year and sacrifice my health and sanity in exchange for the professional goals that bring external validation.

And this is the first time I recognize this pattern, and am choosing a different way to start the new year and to spend the season.

Rather than linking to any new products, I would recommend you put your credit cards away and take stock of the nice things you own that you keep saving for a random future day. Use these things - the fancy candles still in their boxes, the beautiful china and crystal glassware you use on rare occasions, your softest sweaters and silky pieces.

Use these “one day” things, regularly and lovingly, throughout the winter. That “one day” is today and now.

I hope you shift your dread and negative thoughts about winter and embrace this season of wintering. I hope you prioritize rest. I hope you let yourself ease into the new year with care and gentleness. I hope you fill your space with the beautiful things that you’ve tucked away for an unknown special occassion.

I hope you winter with peace and self-assuredness.

And if you happen to enjoy this newsletter, I’d be so appreciative of your sharing it with the other smart folks in your life.

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24 Hours in Charleston

This post is sponsored by Expedia Group.

This has been the year of 24 hour trips - for work, for fun, and for some once-in-a-lifetime moments.

One of my most memorable trips was traveling to Charleston to co-host an event for a nonprofit I serve on the board of. I took the first flight in and out of Charleston, and made the most of my 24 hours away from home.

I strolled through the city at a pace my New York self wouldn’t have recognized. I indulged in the most incredible meals at Virginia’s on King (shrimp & grits) and Ma’am Saab (get the lamb biryani and the butter sauce on the side - actually, get two orders of sauce). I spent hours in the powerful International African American Museum, learning and absorbing the raw history of this country. And I had the most wonderful stay, breakfast, nightcap, and massage at the Hotel Bennett.

I had the most incredible time - and booking this trip through Expedia saved me time, energy, and money from searching multiple sites for the best deal possible. I also earned OneKeyCash (and miles toward my airline loyalty program).

More importantly, I had the best time exploring a city I love and feeling like Hitha On The Go again.

I could get used to more workcations like these.

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What We Read This Week

Hitha

• Never by Jessa Hastings - when was the last time you thought about Peter Pan? Like, REALLY thought about it and realize how wildly inappropriate and toxic it is? And have you ever considered what a young man Peter (not the boy from the Disney movie, not the grown man from Hook) would be like and what a more modern Darling young woman (who grew up with the legend of Peter) would be like when she’s finally whisked to Neverland? And what if the Hook we meet is the son of the infamous Hook where more meets the eye and gives Rhysand/Xaden vibes? I’m obsessed and I need the sequel immediately.

• Network of Lies by Brian Stelter - the irony of this excellent book is that the people who need to read it never will, and will claim it’s filled with lies and misinformation. And that’s the problem Stelter unpacks in his book that covers the calling of the 2020 presidential election for Biden, the subsequent Big Lie and Dominion lawsuit, and Tucker Carlson’s firing and the impact it’s made on the voters who view Fox News as gospel. It’s not an easy read, but it’s a necessary one.

• Have Yourself a Billionaire for Christmas by Tracey Livesay - a easy, breezy, trope-filled festive novella that’s also steamy as hell.

• Endgame by Omid Scobie - while this is a modern history of the current Windsors, it’s also an excellent book on the power of brand, brand management, and people management (largely of what not to do to a storied and stable brand). If you follow the royal family, you won’t find new information in this book, but the way Scobie unpacks the insidious relationship between the Firm and the British tabloids is a compelling tale.

• Wreck The Halls by Tessa Bailey - another trope-filled, steamy breezy holiday read. It’s entirely predictable and also enjoyable.

• Wintering by Katherine May - even though I dedicated the majority of the editor’s letter to this book, I feel the need to be thorough in my book reviews and include it here as well. It’s brilliant. Please read it.

• The Messy Truth by Alli Webb - rarely are memoirs from successful people so vulnerable, honest, and messy - but that’s exactly what we need, and Alli Webb so bravely shared her mess in a time I felt like one. This was a quick listen, and a powerful one at that.

Abigail

• Banyan Moon by Thao Thai - I was in a reading rut this fall until I read Banyan Moon, Thao Thai's debut novel about a mother, grandmother, and granddaughter. Their relationships are tense, full of expectations and secrets and and hopes for closeness and understanding across generations. Set in Florida and Vietnam, it's a vivid book with beautiful imagery and realistic tensions. I can't wait to read more from Thao!

Julia

• EXTREMELY ONLINE by Taylor Lorenz - Taylor Lorenz's EXTREMELY ONLINE is a must-read for any prolific social media user (pretty much everyone!) Taylor is one of my favorite tech writers, and she details the history of blogs and influencers in snappy anecdotes. It goes beyond the sheer content of the Internet and dives into how content creators (mostly women!) have created multiple income streams and flourishing businesses. Highly recommend!

Zara

• The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren - so witty!

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The Top Reads

How the Ivy Lee Method Can Help You Overcome Decision Fatigue and Get Things Done More Quickly (Well+Good)
This Needs Hot Sauce 2023 Gift Guide (This Needs Hot Sauce)
Gen Z women spend more on TikTok as app ‘drives consumption,’ analyst says(CNBC)
A Lab Test That Experts Liken To A Witch Trial Is Helping Send Women To Prison For Murder (ProPublica)
The Debate That Israel Needs Over the War (New York Times)
Sarah Rafferty’s Wild Year (Glamour)
The Joy Of Underperforming (The Atlantic)
Buy Wisely (Steph Ango)
Jennifer Garner Practices "Benign Neglect" In Raising Her Kids—But What Is It? (Parents)
27 Very Good Responses For When You’re Actually Not OK (Wondermind)

The Rest of the Reads
December 4, 2023 
December 5, 2023
December 6, 2023
December 7, 2023 
December 8, 2023
December 11, 2023
December 12, 2023
December 13, 2023
December 14, 2023
December 15, 2023

If you’d like to receive the daily #5SmartReads newsletter, you can subscribe here.

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Here’s to wintering better, and to a peaceful holiday!

xo,
HPN