you're doing great, sweetie
the reframe on excellence that I needed
before we jump into today’s post, here’s what you might have missed on Hyphenated by Hitha:
a new home for the latest and (and in my opinion, greatest) posts published on Hyphenated by Hitha
Does anyone else feel stuck in a loop (and a fairly depressive one at that)?
I’ve been trapped in one of my own making—pick up my phone, scroll through the horrors happening right now, distract myself with whatever joy Threads is serving up (right now, it’s astrophysics and it’s amazing). Go back on Instagram and scroll through Reels promising huge results with Trial Reels (use these hooks! this Reel got me 2,000 new followers in a day, here’s how to do it, use this sound and copy this hook). Back to Threads for some random joy. Repeat.
I’d like to blame Mark Zuckerberg for being trapped in this toxic loop (especially after reading this), but it’s one of my own making.
There are a few things that have helped me get off this ride. My morning routine is annoyingly effective (I’m currently writing this Substack on my phone, while sipping my coffee in bed). When I find myself getting distracted, I check my tiny planner and pick one of the quick tasks I need to do. I’ve been outsourcing a ton to my Faye advisor (she handled our ski planning, took care of Rho’s birthday planning, and proposes tasks to take off my plate). I’ve been pausing my workday a little bit earlier to prepare dinner while watching a brain candy show.
One thing I’m trying to do more is to have a Forest timer active on my phone, virtually all of the time. All of my reading apps (Libby, CloudLibrary, Kindle) are on my allow list; in an attempt to replace scrolling with reading. The Way of Excellence is my current phone book, and it’s a necessary one right now.
I keep coming back to this quote whenever I find myself numbly scrolling:
Excellence is less a destination and more an energizing process of growth and becoming—an ongoing path that yields our best performances and, every bit as important, our best selves. We are made to move toward excellence as a tree is made to move toward the sun.
It’s a great book so far, and a necessary reminder that excellence isn’t in the envy-inducing posts we see on Instagram, or the exploitative wealth growth of American oligarchs, or even in our most productive days.
It’s a practice in consistency in the regular things (especially in how we rest), and staying present and aware of how we feel in each of them.
Getting through each day is excellence. My lying in bed, finishing up this missive before I jump into mom mode, is excellence. A phone-free walk is excellence. Staying calm when my kids are having a hard moment is excellence.
It’s very easy to beat ourselves up about feeling anxious, drained, and that we should be doing me. I’m here to remind you that you’re doing great, sweetie.
Once you’ve finished reading this newsletter, go be excellent at something off your phone—even if it’s just sipping a glass of water while staring out the window (bonus points if it’s hot water, which my friend Neeti recommends as the most simple morning routine).
For accountability’s sake, tell me what you’re going to do.
As for me, I’m off to be an excellent mother (even though I’ll be spending the next hour negotiating and begging calming repeating myself the most basic requests (take a bite! bundle up! give your brother space!)
things I’m loving right now
Some joyful finds: an onigiri shaker that I use every Thursday, a pajama/lounge set that’s a perfect dupe for the Negative set, and this power bank that can charge my laptop on the go.
Faye has truly changed my life. In the past two weeks, my advisor handled all of our ski weekend bookings (lessons, rentals, lift tickets), fully planned Rho’s birthday party, and sent me valentines options before I even asked. Code HITHA25 gets you 25% off your first month.
ICYMI, I shared a day in my life, the habit that gets me to do the most annoying chores, and my favorite anxiety reducing activity (that you can do from virtually anywhere for free).
I can’t stop thinking about the numbness economy.
Simple, quick ways I’m getting in more protein: blending a Splendid Spoon smoothie with this unflavored protein powder, a savory Greek yogurt bowl (plain yogurt, an AFAR bar, and 1 tablespoon of chia seeds), and a snack plate of a turkey stick, snacking cheese, and chopped sweet peppers.
I loved this vulnerable conversation between my friends Leah Wiseman Fink and Lauren Levinson on friendship. I felt every word of it.
Leah is an incredible personal coach, and she has some 1:1 openings right now. If you’re looking to get unstuck or make a big transition with care and guidance, reach out to her for a preliminary call!
If you found this weekend’s letter helpful, please consider:
tapping the ❤️ icon below (all engagement helps!)
tapping the 💬 and share how you’re doing right now
upgrading your subscription, if budget permits
May we keep fighting for a better future.
xo,
HPN
Thanks for the support, friend!!
Thanks for linking our friendship convo (and coaching link!) xx