honoring my capacity

the check in #8

Aug 11, 2026

I had an entirely different topic planned for this week’s check-in, but it’s going to require some extra time and thought than I have capacity for right now.

Capacity is something I’ve been reflecting on and communicating about. Right now, it’s focused on my mom’s recovery (which looks like spending most of the day in the hospital), making the most of my limited time with the boys (camp drop-off, watching a show and bedtime in the evenings), and doing the bare minimum to take care of myself (which is reading romance novels past my bedtime and purchasing yet another one of these bags).

Capacity is meant to be defined by ourselves. But the switch has flipped from our establishing our limits to the “do more, create more, be more” momentum spurred by AI tools and late-stage capitalism in general.

I’m guilty of this. As much as I try to use the time and energy I save leveraging Littlebird or Claude to be offline, I can get sucked into the output fallacy and feel compelled to create, do, plan more.

I’m writing this on the afternoon of August 10th, sitting in the waiting room while my mom is taking a lap with the nurses. For most of the afternoon, I was sitting by her side - feeding her ice chips and tiny bites of food, showing her pictures of the kids, holding her hand and committing the peaks and valleys created by her bones and veins to memory.

Today wasn’t about clearing my inboxes, creating Instagram posts, or even asking Claude about my astrological forecast again. It was simply to be here, with my mom.

That’s what I reserved my capacity for. I succeeded. And that, frankly, has felt more fulfilling than anything I’ve written or created in some time.

start your week smarter

Life with AI is just more work (Embedded) - I often feel attacked by Embedded, which is precisely why I pay for my subscription and dutifully read every essay that hits my inbox. It’s an uncomfortable mirror that forces me to think carefully about how I show up online and how I work against my values, and how the two have been deviating from each other lately. I thought I’d been doing a good job of the “live more” side of things, and this showed me how I’ve slipped.
Just Trying to Figure Out My Job (Vlogbrothers) - I admittedly stumbled across this video because of this essay on Embedded, and I felt terrifyingly seen by it. Hank’s video is vulnerable, but this line from the essay was devastating:
”This is the final ingredient in social media’s very dangerous cocktail. Not only do these platforms reward output at all costs, they also make it feel like we can’t be a successful creator without them. I’m not in Hank’s mind, but there’s something keeping him on Twitter that trumps the pleas of the people who know him and the fact that it’s run by a Nazi. I have to imagine it’s fear.”
Just in case you’re also looking for permission... (Circlette) - so what does it look like to create without falling prey to the algorithm and feeding the beast? My friend Leah Melby Clinton explores it, having wound down operations of In Kind Magazine. We’ve gotten so consumed by monetizing every second of our lives that we’ve stopped creating simply for the joy of it. Right now, I’m too exhausted to consider what play for the sake of play looks like, but I hope to find out once we’re through the thick of hospital care.
Lazy People Don’t Exist (SELF) - if you’re berating yourself for not producing as much as you think you should be, or are finding it difficult to lock in on the thing you’re supposed to be doing, stop.
“When you’re chronically overextended—or when your effort stops translating into reward (no promotion, no acknowledgment)—disengagement becomes inevitable.”
The 7 types of rest that every person needs (IDEAS.TED.COM) - I’m a broken record about Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith’s 7 types of rest framework, which found me just as my life went haywire. Replacing our numbing with intentional, deliberate rest is necessary - and we’re failing to do it. If you haven’t listened to me yet, listen to Dr. Dalton-Smith.

what I’m enjoying this week

These travel essentials are working double duty during my hospital days - the best power bank, the perfect little crossbody, and a cozy cardigan (100% cotton and $23!)
While I have no desire to “maxx” anything, I love the thought of embracing things I want to practice more—like daily friction.
There’s nothing like fancy laundry detergent, really good wipes, very sharp knives (thanks to this sharpener), and a pretty goblet (that fits a full can of seltzer) to make the mundane things a bit better.
I’m in awe of Kate Kennedy’s brain. This episode of Be There In Five is the perfect complement to this Substack, and made my drive from the hospital fly by.