issue #207 - the one dialing it up - or down
an honest check in + a tool to help you when you're feeling low
How are we doing?
I’m at a level 2, slowly ticking up from a level 0.5 and 1 from the past two weeks.
Confused by this answer? I get it. Imagine a dial, from 0 to 5. 0 is feeling like utter garbage, 5 is feeling your best, and 3 is being in a good place.
Assign a number to your current feeling. Once you have the number, reflect (and write down) what you do when you’re at this current number - how many hours have you slept, what you typically eat, how you move, and what you default to in your margin time (scrolling, reading, watching).
This is an exercise my coach did with me during our weekly check-in this week. I was registering at a 1.2 - I hadn’t been sleeping well, I’ve been eating my comfort meals, I haven’t worked out much, and I just want to watch all of One Day.
When Mya asked me drill down further, I realized that I hadn’t completely defaulted to my old ways. Even though I’m eating my favorite comfort foods, there was always the addition of protein and fiber in each meal (lox in my Everything Croissant, extra vegetables and tofu in my fried rice, more sashimi than nigiri in my sushi order). There were nights when I was asleep before 10 am and got good quality sleep. I read more than I watched TV, even if it was a re-reading of all of Abby Jimenez’s books.
As tiny as these wins are, they are wins - and looking at ways to micro-win in the low moments are what helps us dial up.
After our call, I continued to dive deeper in this exercise. I journaled out what a level 0, 3, and 5 day looks like. I listed all the health metrics for each level (sleep, meals, movement, quality time with my loved ones, how I spend my margin time).
When you’re feeling really low, it’s normal to seek out your comfort rituals (food, shows, clothes, specific spaces in your home) to find some comfort in hard moments. I certainly have and do, but I also have a tendency to wallow and stay in my level 0-1 cocoon of comfort food, brain candy novels, and a lot of scrolling.
Mya challenged me to write down Level 3 meals, movement practices, rituals, and tools that are low lift and easy to choose when I’m in a low level day. This specific step in this whole exercise felt like a game changer for me. Here are some of mine:
Shaking up my AG1 with some protein powder and ice water to satiate my hunger (and to drink this before I place an order for a comfort meal)
A treadmill walk while I watch a show (it doesn’t matter how slow or flat it is)
Fill up my water bottle with sparkling water, which I’m more likely to drink than regular flat water.
Ask my husband for an emotional check-in and ask for his help.
Take a caffeine nap (sip something caffeinated and immediately lie down - your body will wake you up in about 20-30 minutes once the caffeine hits your bloodstream)
Much of these are also in my ‘boost motivation’ toolkit, which focuses boosting your energy based on a specific kind of tiredness (physical, mental, emotional). But when I’m registering a low level, I’m drained on all fronts and need to pull in a practice from each category.
When you’re at a level 0-1, the last thing you have is motivation to get back on track. Whatever you do needs to be simple and fairly effortless. Motivation is fickle, but discipline is something that can be cultivated through these low-lift rituals. It’s a both/and - take care of yourself by doing something that’s good for you and what feels good, especially if those typically are at odds with each other.
In short, I really encourage you to work through this dial exercise yourself. Here’s a quick recap:
Journal what a level 0, level 3, and level 5 days look like for you
Go deeper in each of these days and make note of these specific areas:
Sleep
Meals
Exercise
How you spend your personal time
Time with your loved ones
Take a look at your level 3 & 5 things in these categories, and highlight the ones that feel fairly easy and effortless. Write them down in a separate note in your phone or wherever you keep your notes to help reference when you’re having a level 0-1 day.
I hope this exercise helps you as much as it’s helped me - and please let me know if you complete it, and what your own dial-up rituals are when you’re having a low moment.
What We’ve Been Reading
Lunar Love by Lauren Kung Jessen - a light rom com that reads like a Hallmark movie (predictable, sweet, easy). If your brain needs a break, this is a solid pick.
In an effort to not make this newsletter absurdly long, you can find all of these book reviews here.
Crescent City series by Sarah J. Maas
Magnolia Parks Into The Dark by Jessa Hastings
A Love Song for Ricki Wilde by Tia Williams
Just for the Summer by Abby Jimenez (out April 2, 2024)
All of Abby Jimenez’s books
Miss You: A Novel by Kate Eberlen - If you love travel and romance, you will fall in love with the characters in Miss You. Miss You is a tale of two young people and over the course of their lives, they intersect in various ways...and it's so beautifully written. You get to fall in love with each character and cheer them on, and then, I won't spoil it for you, but the end is a majestic love story. I loved cuddling up every night to read this and felt like I was escaping into a little garden in London. If you like Notting Hill or Serendipity, you will fall in love with Miss You.
She Has Dreamt Again of Water by Stephanie Niu - I had the chance to attend an incredible event called 'A Very Queer BIPOC Reading' as a part of AWP in Kansas City. Poet Stephanie Niu read at the event, which was my introduction to her work. Y'all. She's amazing. This is her first chapbook poetry collection, which I highly recommend. She also read from her forthcoming chapbook called 'Survived By: An Atlas of Disappearance' which I'm sure will also be stunning. If you're even remotely interested in poetry, you have to give Niu's work your undivided attention.
What the River Knows by Isabel Ibanez - Mixing historical fiction with romance is my jam, and What the River Knows by Isabel Ibañez sounds like it was right up my alley. It's got everything: a lush Egyptian setting, an adventure that feels like "The Mummy" meets "Death on the Nile," and a dash of magic that’s hard to resist. Throw in a rivals-to-lovers romance amidst the search for truth behind a family mystery, and I was immediately sucked in until the last page. I know want to go to Egypt on an archeological dig, and am counting down the days until her next book is out in November.
The Top Reads From The Past Two Weeks
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Monday: Lunar New Year traditions evolve in the Asian diaspora (NPR)
Tuesday: “Integrated thriving” can fix unhelpful buzz words like “girlboss” and “snail girl” (Big Think)
Wednesday: Trans people in Florida can no longer update their driver’s licenses (The 19th*)
Thursday: For Sofia Richie Grainge, Wifehood Is The Ultimate Rebrand (Bustle)
Friday: I’m Struggling To Get Sober, And Working In Academia Only Makes It Harder (Huff Post)
Monday: Meet the NFL WAG Turned Romance Novelist Who May Have Manifested a Travis Kelce–Taylor Swift Super Bowl (Vanity Fair)
Tuesday: Over three decades, Tech obliterated Media (Intelligencer)
Wednesday: I Opened A Grocery Store (A Newsletter)
Thursday: Catching Up With Brynn Whitfield: Boys, Bolognese, and Baby Fever (Glamour)
All The #5SmartReads From The Past Two Weeks:
The Weekly Thali
Thali is a traditional Indian meal made up of a number of dishes (presented in their own small bowls), served on a single platter. It feels like an appropriate description of a grab bag section of Q&A, recommendations, and random links shared this week
The unlikely man behind every powerful woman
Two products and two brushes are the secret to my natural, easy makeup look.
This savory oatmeal recipe looks incredible.
I’m currently in my ‘keeping up with Gen Z/Gen Alpha’ era. At least I have a few years to figure things out before my kid gets a cell phone.
Random purchases that are worth every penny - this vacuum cleaner (far better than any stick vacuum I’ve ever used), the best nice socks, and this spray that gives me a sleek blowout with zero blowdrying skills.
If you’re suffering from persistent congestion and sinus issues, you’re not alone. Here’s a crowdsourced list of potential diagnoses, product recommendations, and medication options to discuss with your doctor.
Outfits I wore and loved - the coziest sweats for a snow day, for an NYFW preview, my favorite not-so-basic basic outfit, and for an overnight trip with a close friend.
I’ve been making this dip every single week because it’s just so good (I add fresh serrano, cilantro, and Indian chili powder to give it some kick).
To dialing it up - even if it’s just a tiny bit.
xo,
HPN
A caffeine nap! I never knew this was a thing! I did this by accident once and woke up the most recharged of my life. It happened years ago and the memory is visceral but I thought it was a one-off.