issue #69 - the hyper-focused one
I could repeat myself from previous weeks and talk about what a blur this week was. And I’d be telling you the truth.
I could also tell you that it was probably my most focused - and balanced-feeling - week in a long time. And I’d still be telling you the truth.
I went back to basics, in a sense. Kept one window up at a time on my computer. Listened to music instead of having a show or movie streaming in the background. Gave Rho my undivided attention during Zoom school (easier said than done, but mindlessly coloring his scrap paper was quite enjoyable).
And it also helped me get to bed before midnight most nights this week, which is the biggest accomplishment this week. REST.
I fully don’t expect most weeks to be this way, but I hope they are. And if it means I block out every moment in my calendar (with 2 hours of open space for buffers), diligently use Headspace’s Focus mode (I have a partnership with Headspace right now, but I’m sharing it again here because it’s truly a game changer), and trying to single-task as much as possible.
Do I work like this always? No. I’m human and I get sucked into a doomscroll like everyone else.
Baby steps.
And I, for one, look forward to leaving my phone in a drawer all weekend while I hang with my kids, read this book, cook whatever’s in my fridge and about to go bad, and recharge for another insane week.
A few notes:
I’m speaking on a panel with Superkin on Wednesday titled Rise to the Occasion. I hope you’ll join me as we have an honest conversation on how COVID has exposed just how broken our system is for mothers in the workforce, and how we’re banding together to do better.
If you ever had a random question for me, chances are I’ve answered it here. I moved my weekly Q&As from Instagram to the website since July, and there.
If you want your #5SmartReads delivered to your inbox or accessible in your blog reader, all you have to do is upgrade your subscription! The daily newsletter has extended commentary, and all the e-mails are accessible here.
What we read and loved
Hitha
The Roommate (ARC provided NetGalley, out September 15) - Ashley and Lily both gave this book rave reviews, and THEY WERE RIGHT. It is the steamiest book I’ve read since The Idea Of You (another trusted Spivey pick), incredibly sex-positive and empowering, and I needed multiple cold showers while reading it. PRE-ORDER THIS RIGHT NOW. It is one of the only good things to come out of 2020.
The Only Plane In The Sky - Most of us remember exactly where we were on 9/11/2001. But many of us don't know the stories of those that it touched the most. That's what Garrett M. Graff’s outstanding book, The Only Plane In The Sky, offers. It's a richly detailed history of this day, from the artists-in-residence at the WTC to what exactly was happening on Air Force One that day. It's an emotional book, but a cathartic one too. The audiobook is outstanding, and I listened to it all week (use code HITHA to get 2 free audiobooks when you create a membership).
I shared my reviews of Self Care and No, You Shut Up on Instagram this week as well. Highly recommend both of them.
The Idea of You is a yearly reread for me—a smart and steamy romance featuring an almost 40 year old mother and art maven who falls in love with a thinly veiled Harry Styles. Especially now, it's a perfect escape that will leave you with a lasting book hangover. Read it with a few friends to have a support group.
One to Watch - I am big fan of The Bachelor. The show has a lot to work on as far as representation, so I loved this fantasy version of the show where a plus-size woman. The plot was just as juicy as the real-life show and it was fun to spend time on the production side of the Bachelor-like show.
The top 4
What’s the worst that could happen? (Washington Post)
Friendships are the greatest love stories of our lives (The Tiff Weekly)
If You’re Already Dreading Winter, Here Are Some Small Ways to Prepare Now (Vice)
The Eco–Yogi Slumlords of Brooklyn (The Cut)
All the smart reads
Tuesday
Chef Claudette Zepeda: It's 'Demoralizing' Having To Justify The Value Of Mexican Food (Huff Post)
Fighting Patriarchy, and Fearing Worse From the Taliban (New York Times)
Travel Noire Founder Zim Flores Talks New Beginnings (Essence)
Christians, Gun Rights, and the American Social Compact (The Dispatch)
Wednesday (curated by Abigail Koffler)
Fried Fish is a Fixture in Black American Cuisine (Whetsone Magazine)
The Work You Do, the Person You Are (The New Yorker)
COVID Testing in NYC (How To Be Broke In New York)
The DMV Reviewed Thousands of Hilarious Vanity Plate Applications Last Year. These Are Our Favorites (LA Magazine)
Thursday
The Last Time a Contested Presidential Election Nearly Tore the Country Apart (New York Magazine)
For Naaya Founder Sinikiwe Dhliwayo, Wellness Means Having Agency and Access (Well+Good)
Pennsylvania Governor Calls for Marijuana Legalization to Cover COVID-19 Budget Shortfall (The Appeal)
Friday (curated by Janessa)
The End of the Skin-Care Craze (Elemental)
Generation Work-From-Home May Never Recover (The Atlantic)
Anne-Marie Imafidon Shares The Confidence Tip She Gives Her 'Stemettes' (Bustle)
America Is Facing a Teen Suicide Pandemic (Psychology Today)
Things I Love This Week
Rho has claimed my office space for Zoom school for the next two weeks, so this larger C table has been my floating desk as I float around our home to find a place to work from. It’s really easy to assemble, sturdy, and lightweight. The tabletop does require finishing, but it’s a great desk and I’m tempted to purchase one for every single of the rooms I work from.
I have to re-up some old favorites that keep me feeling good - Equilibria’s CBD (get 15% off with code HITHA), Talula’s body butter, the Luv Scrub, these pajamas, and my Silk + Sonder journal for keeping me organized.
Look up ‘picky eater’ up in the dictionary, and you’ll find a picture of Rho. If the meal had a visible vegetable in it and wasn’t made up of carbs and cheese, he wouldn’t touch it. Except for Little Spoon’s Plates. These plates have my kid eating string beans, beets, peas, and cleaning his plate every single time. We have been loyal Little Spoon subscribers since Rho was a toddler and continue to be. All the baby food and Plates have been purchased by us, but you can use my referral link to get $20 off your first order.
My friend Amy launched her podcast with none other than Glennon and Abby as her first guests. Go give it a listen!
Abigail - I moved in May and took the chance to upgrade my spice cabinet with Burlap and Barrel. They're single origin, responsibly sourced spices and they taste so much better. Try the 6 piece starter pack—the cinnamon will change your oatmeal forever.
Janessa - I love this bag! I love products that make being green chic and easy. This bag easily converts between tote and backpack making it ideal for trips to the park or to the grocery store. It's machine washable. I know I won't use a mini backpack all the time, so having the tote option means I can use it a lot more than just a backpack.
Looking for my favorite things? You can find them here.
If you like what I’m sending, please forward it with someone you love (or someone you don’t). Or both. Everyone could use some smart reads in their life.
xo,
HPN
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