what balance looks like (right now)
just the hits #11
This week felt like my most balanced one in a while.
There were some great moments - a dinner with some of the most dynamic and powerful women in media, tech, and entertainment, a big family Diwali party that reminded me of the ones my parents and their friends hosted, and a day trip to the Hudson Valley for
’s vision of an adult Scholastic Book Fair come to life.And there were a lot of little moments that I barely documented - morning walks and a long run in Central Park, the cozy chaos of the mornings and evenings with the boys, phone banking whenever time permitted, and some solo evenings where I watched New Moon and Eclipse (as a part of my annual Twilight series rewatch) and texted Rahaf on how unhinged the series is - and how we can’t stop this tradition.
I’ve found that balance isn’t about an even split between my different roles, but when I focus on finishing over doing things the way I envision. I journaled at the kitchen table when the kids ate breakfast. I did my planning and the negging tasks from the waiting rooms of their activities. And we’ve been emphasizing home contributions a lot more - Rhaki helps me make my own bed (because he’s usually in it by 5:30 am), Rho unloads the dishwasher and gets the breakfast supplies out. Both boys help clean the kitchen in the evenings, and we curl up on the couch to read most weeknights.
The best gift my husband gave me is teaching Rhaki how to make a latte with minimal supervision, which has been the biggest improvement to my mornings.
I do think balance as it’s portrayed (equal time and attention among all your roles) is bullshit. I believe in balanced moments, where you accept a certain level of chaos and find peace and presence within them.
And in getting your kids more involved at home (especially in the making of coffee).
If figuring out your self-care plan is intimidating, here’s mine (workouts, meals, and mindfulness practices):
Catch up on the latest reads here:
Fireborne (The Aurelian Cycle Book 1)
by Rosaria Munda
I’ve been searching for a book that scratches my Fourth Wing itch, and
delivered with this recommendation. It’s Fourth Wing with a touch of Game of Thrones, but what I really love about this series is how much it parallels Lost Stars (a Star Wars novel that I read every year). I’m in awe of how Rosaria Munda reveals the plot and the characters’ nuance so beautifully. This series immediately shook me out of my reading rut, and will be joining my comfort re-read list.If I haven’t convinced you yet, this might. And if you need or have book recommendations, please join the conversation!
You can find my 2024 reads here, and October’s reads here.
Countertop Spice Rack ($30)
After dealing with spices falling out of my cabinet or spilling into my drawers, I succumbed to a countertop spice rack. And I’m kicking myself for not doing it sooner. Being able to see all of my frequently used spices is the tiny change that’s immediately improved my life.
Hyperbolic? Yes. Accurate? Also yes.
Find all my Amazon favorites here.
Making HERstory: How WNBA owner Clara Wu Tsai turned a team ‘no one wanted’ into New York’s next big franchise
published in CNN
The only New York teams I pledge allegiance to are the Liberty and Gotham FC - and damn it feels good to be fans of championship winning teams.
I’m equally a fan of the incredibly brilliant women who own and operate these teams, and Clara Wu Tsai’s ownership and investment in the Liberty deserves its own case study or leadership book. I took notes from this piece, and invested in my own season tickets for the Liberty next season.
I share smart & fun reads, cheap (and useful thrills), and outfits on Instagram, and random musings on Threads. If that’s your thing, please hang out with me over there!
Sharing
Liz Moody interviewed Kendra Adachi (aka thelazygenius) and it completely changed the way I view productivity. If you feel overwhelmed and behind, you need to listen to this.
So much for the party of small government and fiscal conservatism.
my favorite horoscope app is offering a 30 day free trial (code LILITH30). Chani’s predictions have been eerily accurate since I began listening to her weekly forecast and reading my daily horoscope, and I’ve found the premium version (with meditations, rituals, and a specific weekly and annual forecasts) to be worth it.
this playlist immediately puts me in a good mood, and this one immediately reduces my stress when I play it (verified by my Oura ring stats, which also showed how my stress spiked whenever I logged onto Twitter).
Making
phone calls to voters - 8 days out from Election Day! I’m also calling my own family members to make sure they have their voting plans.
If phone banking isn’t your thing, talking to your loved ones is so effective (and for Pennsylvanians, I think it’s more effective than canvassing or phone banking them - my family is over it, and you’ve never met more proud Democrats). Ripple can help you craft specific, non-spammy messages to help engage them.
Answering
Where do you find your journaling prompts?
They’ve been coming to me, though I’ll use one from the Chani app or do a Superhuman writing activation if I’m feeling stuck. Here are some of my favorite prompts this week:if you were a witch, which would you be? (I’d definitely be a seer)
write out exactly how you want this day to go
what do you need right now?
I don’t have much time today. What do I absolutely need to get done?
What are you eating for breakfast?
These are my current fixation breakfasts (and I also have 2 scoops of protein shaken up with my AG1 after my workout):a savory yogurt bowl (1 cup Greek yogurt, one AFAR bar crumbled in, 1 tablespoon of chia seeds)
2 hard boiled eggs and a bowl of Rice Krispies with 2% milk
What are you reading right now?
I’m listening to The Spellshop (a cozy fantasy that’s more vibes than plot, and feels like the beginning of Fellowship of the Ring or The Hobbit - calming and peaceful and like you want to escape into that world)
Rho and I are listening to A Dragon’s Guide to the Care and Feeding of Humans - an absolutely delightful, quick read with an incredible narrator.
I just started Furysong (the final book in The Aurelian Cycle)
(yes, I know I’m clearly in a dragon mood)
Catch up on last month’s questions and answers.
Recommending
hair and makeup tips if it’s humid (or you’re suffering from hot flashes)
my favorite notebooks for morning pages (writing 3 pages, longhand, of whatever comes to mind). They’re slim enough to finish, the line spacing is perfect, and the stitched binding helps you fold it or lay flat to write.
two skincare products - this sunscreen (which I actually reapply), and this nighttime serum (formulated with multiple actives, but gentle enough for everyday use). With the serum, start with application every other night.
These are my most popular recommendations.
Trying
to avoid the polls and binging on election news. If you
If you enjoyed this weekend’s letter, please consider:
tapping the ❤️ icon below
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upgrading your subscription, if budget permits. #5SmartReads is sent every Tuesday morning.
Wishing you a wonderful Sunday.
xo,
HPN
These two quotes positively reached out to me:
‘I’ve found that balance isn’t about an even split between my different roles, but when I focus on finishing over doing things the way I envision.’
‘I do think balance as it’s portrayed (equal time and attention among all your roles) is bullshit. I believe in balanced moments, where you accept a certain level of chaos and find peace and presence within them.’
So appreciate this perspective on the elusive balance we are all supposed to be aiming for!!!
Just found you via Olivia Muenter, and so excited to be a regular reader. I’m obsessed with the Aurelian Cycle and convinced my partner to read it so we could discuss.