september '24 things
this month's books, recommendations, and answers to your questions
This month was all about routine - the kids back in school, us fully back to work, and getting used the school routine without outside childcare.
It was also about Italy - my husband and I escaped to Rome and the Tyrrhenian coast. I got to revisit my old stomping grounds, geek out over obelisks and ancient Roman ruins, eat all the tagliatelle, and read 4 books.
I’m linking to this month’s best posts below (the latest hits, a new take on #5SmartReads, and one of my most vulnerable essays), with all of this month’s books/things/answers below:
Books
The Most Famous Girl in the World by
- this was a ‘take over your life and you won’t be mad about it’ book, and I was gripped from the first sentence to the final “what the everloving f*&k” words. I laughed, I loathed, and I’m even more obsessed with Iman (her Substack, , is also superb)The Art of Power by Nancy Pelosi - I want to start a petition for Meredith Scardino (creator of the brilliant Girls5Eva) to create a show centered on congresswomen, and for it to be largely based on Madam Speaker’s own book. Pelosi spilled it all - the successes, the failures, and what every president she’s worked with was really like - and I would’ve read 1000 more pages.
The Perfectionist’s Guide to Letting Go by Katherine Morgan Schafler - my therapist is going on maternity leave for the rest of the year, and I panicked at the prospect of not having someone to unload on (and share my book recommendations with). Mercifully, I have my amazing psychiatrist to check in with, and this book to help support me as I confront my perfectionism and learn to process it in a healthier manner.
The Empress of Rome series by Kate Quinn - the women of ancient Rome often get overshadowed by their bolder Greek and Egyptian counterparts, but Kate Quinn did them justice with this BRILLIANT series. Something I like to do before/on a trip is to read a book set where we’re going, and this lit up all my forgotten knowledge about ancient Rome (and impressed our guides during our tours).
Lies and Weddings by Kevin Kwan - I tend to save Kevin Kwan’s books when I’m on vacation, and reading this book cover-to-cover with the Tyrrhenian Sea lapping at my feet was absolute perfect. We have a wedding gone wrong, a scheming mother, and falling in love with your next door neighbor. Yes, it follows Kwan’s typical plot, but is no less enjoyable.
Pomona Afton Can Solve A Murder by Bellamy Rose - billed as Gossip Girl meets Only Murders in the Building, and it delivers. It’s a fast read (and the end does feel a bit rushed), but it was a fun, read-in-a-single-setting book.
Bad Witches by H. B. Akumiah - if Charmed and Loki had a book child, it would be this satisfyingly twisty, fun, smart read. A fairly unremarkable day in September brings 3 women together while another registers an unprecedented spike in magic within the witch world of the Sphere. The way this book unfolds and eventually merges these worlds is so fun and frantic in the best way, and I can’t wait to see how this series proceeds.
In The Shadow Garden by Liz Parker - a beautiful, easy witchy read that gave me Practical Magic and Witches of East End vibes, with a literal bourbon twist. I stayed up too late and woke up too early to read this in two sittings, but it was worth it.
Recommendations
Fashion + Beauty
After a fairly makeup-free summer, my skin needs some extra TLC now that I’m wearing a full face multiple times a week. The Outset’s exfoliant and cool cream mask have been an absolute lifesaver, leaving my skin feeling clean and perfectly hydrated. You can use code HITHA20 for 20% off.
My fashion MVPs in Italy - this hat, these sneakers (and no show socks), an oversized denim jacket, and my favorite linen pants and tanks.
After an intense bout of extractions, my facialist
read me the riot actencouraged me to start using this chemical exfoliant daily and to fire up my red light mask a few times a week. He was right - my pores are less congested and my skin tone is more even since I heeded his warning.My friend Mary launched her capsule collection with Addison Bay, and it is *perfection*. I got this sweater and pants (and bow), and will be wearing this look head-to-toe or separately all fall.
An inexpensive workout set (bra, leggings) that can handle it all (even sprints!)
If you’re a fellow hot flash sufferer and are sick of your makeup melting off your face, swap your foundation for Laura Gellar’s Baked powder foundation and kabuki brush. It’s the only base that’s working for me right now.
Miscellaneous
Filed under “things my parents now use because I left them in PA” - silk pillowcases. You can get the best price on them (and my other favorites from Kitsch) in my Flagship shop.
The best knife - lightweight, sharp, and very comfortable while doing a week’s worth of meal prep. Made In also makes the perfect nonstick pan - I use this one every day to make the kids’ breakfasts and to reheat leftovers.
I’ve been in a deep purging/tidying mode since we returned to the city, and have filled 10 of these Trashie bags to recycle worn clothes and accessories.
My drawers and shelves look like a boutique thanks to this shirt folder.
Q&A
What’s your big 3?
I’m a Cancer sun (emotional and sensitive), Virgo moon (analytical and pays attention to detail), and Capricorn rising (ambitious and a workaholic).
I’m obsessed with the Chani app - the horoscopes and weekly outlooks have been eerily accurate.What products/tools are you using for your hair right now?
I wash my hair every 5 days, alternating between the Verb purple shampoo and the Kerastate purple shampoo. My conditioner is the Verb purple hair mask, and I do a scalp massage with Ranavat or Indē Wild hair oil before every other wash. I use this Verb leave-in conditioner after a rough dry and usually let my hair air dry (pulling it back with this towel scrunchie), or get a blowout from Glamsquad. The Beachwaver curling iron is the only tool I use (mostly to curl the front pieces).Any resources to share on financial planning for a kids future? Savings plan, Roths, etc.?
I’m not licensed to give financial advice - I’ll direct you to The Financial Gym for accessible financial coaching and advisory services (I’m a proud investor).
For us, we established 529 savings accounts for each kid when they were born and contribute to them annually.
After Rhaki was born, we also established trusts for them and I transferred some of my Rhoshan Pharma stock into their trusts, along with the money they earned from participating in sponsored content in the past.
On a related topic, this is how we’re teaching our sons about personal finance.Favorite fall transitional piece?
This denim dress! I’ve been wearing it with bare legs and flats, and will pair it with black tights and boots as the weather gets colder. Here are more of my fall style favorites.What products/tools are you using for your hair right now?
I wash my hair every 5 days, alternating between the Verb purple shampoo and the Kerastate purple shampoo. My conditioner is the Verb purple hair mask, and I do a scalp massage with Ranavat or Indē Wild hair oil before every other wash. I use this Verb leave-in conditioner after a rough dry and usually let my hair air dry (pulling it back with this towel scrunchie), or get a blowout from Glamsquad. The Beachwaver curling iron is the only tool I use (mostly to curl the front pieces).How do you make or maintain friendships as an ambitious woman? I have no time!
If you’re short on time, I’d focus on maintaining friendships. I’m currently in a season where friendships are not my top priority, and this is how I’m handling it.I send a friend a “thinking of you” text when I’m actually thinking of them, along with a quick update (2-3 sentences of the state of my life). I’m also a frequent sender of the “thinking of you and sending you love, no need to respond” text, especially when a friend is going through a hard time.
If I’m attending an event, I request a +1 and bring a friend with me.
I’ll respond to and send voice memos (to my friends who prefer them) when I’m doing chores.
What favorite things are you looking forward to this autumn?
Canvassing with Indian American Impact in Pennsylvania, and taking the boys with us to vote. If you’d like to get involved, check out this post:
Apple picking at Shady Brook Farm
Being a part of
’s book fair in OctoberGoing to an Eagles game (it’s been too long!)
Our neighborhood’s Halloween block party
Celebrating Deepavali and Thanksgiving in the new PA house
Taking lots of walks in Central Park, while listening to witchy audiobooks.
How would you recommend staying positive while job hunting with rejection sensitivity dysphoria?
(my dear friend and a coach who has personally helped so many of my friends, through major career transitions and senior level job searches). Having someone to support you with the tactical things (updating your resume and LinkedIn, interview prep) can help you reserve energy for managing the emotional roller coaster. Set limits and reserve some time and energy for you to rest and take exquisite care of yourself.
If you have a clinical diagnosis, please make sure you’re seeking care from a licensed professional to support your mental health, especially in something as emotional as a job search.
For a challenging job search, I’d work withI’m getting married in 8 days - any advice?
I’m so excited for you!
For the wedding - make sure to have some solid snacks on hand, because you will get HUNGRY and people will forget to feed you. Steal away a few minute with your spouse over the weekend to soak it all in together. Make sure the DJ has all of your favorite songs (and the versions you like). Did I mention snacks?
For marriage - Fair Play transformed our relationship and how we manage the household, and I can’t recommend it more. Set a quarterly date to redeal the deck to make sure things stay fair, and have weekly check-ins on both emotional and logistical things. Some other tips:Meet at the restaurant for date night, if you can.
Offer “do you need to vent or advice?” when your partner is unloading
Surprise each other with little things
How do you stay involved with your kids school? I feel overwhelmed with it all.
The best thing we ever did was to set up a new Gmail specifically for family things (school, extracurriculars) and we set up the calendar and email account on our phones.
We label emails “Sri” or “Hitha” if one of us needs to take the lead, otherwise we answer them as quickly as possible.
I’ve been incredibly lucky that the fellow parents take the lead on volunteering and keeping us in the loop. I have capacity to show up for class birthday celebrations, and for Deepavali or Ugadi.
That’s all I have capacity for right now, and I feel good about it.
