what to do when you don't feel like doing anything
just the hits #14
This week was a doozy.
It had some amazing moments (being a part of
’ What To Cook event, quality time with two of my closest friends, seeing Zarna Garg tonight).It also had some hard moments - an anxiety attack at the beginning of the week, working through some challenges at work, the news (and some worst case scenario planning).
“What to do when I don’t feel like doing anything” was the theme this week. I relied heavily on my monthly plan (for what to cook, exercise, meditate), as well as these:
What To Wear
It was a uniform dressing kind of week, alternating between my Adrianna Papell pants (these slim fit ones and these flare ones) with oversized tops (mostly men’s button downs or cozy sweaters, and a Masaba Gupta tunic for Caro’s event).
What To Read
I finished my friend Israa’s brilliant book Toxic Productivity (review below) this week, and needed the kind guidance and tools it shared. I also leaned on cozy, easy reads that helped calm my mind. Love Buzz was wonderfully nostalgic (taking me right back to my college days), The Spellshop was a cozy listen, and I finished my re-read of Innkeeper Chronicles and was sad about saying goodbye to Dina again.
What To Do (When There’s Too Much To Do)
I got sucked down into a lot of scrolling spirals this week. After beating myself up over them (and falling back down into another), I created this little routine to stop the spiral and help me reset my focus:
put on a Forest timer for 45 minutes on my phone
write down a task I need to focus on, on a Post It. Just one.
stick the Post It on my monitor (or on the wall, if it was a tidying task)
I would be so appreciative if you upgrade your subscription to help support #5SmartReads (my weekly news series that amplifies underreported stories and underrepresented perspectives). I’m taking a note from
and am lowering the annual subscription to $30/month.Catch up on the latest here:
Toxic Productivity
by Israa Nasir
Most popular productivity books send me in a ragey spiral about the patriarchy - which is why I tend to avoid them.
Most books are written by (and for) men who have the financial and time privilege to outsource and focus their time and energy on their best and highest use. Women need something different, and that starts with unlearning what doesn’t work for us before we learn to redefine productivity and achievement on our terms.
And that’s exactly what my brilliant friend Israa delivers in this book. It’s a gentle, forgiving guide to help you life your best life - and it’s the book that helped me reset after my anxiety attack earlier this week.
While books are not a replacement for talk therapy, Israa’s decades-long experience as a therapist comes through every word of her book. It’s supportive, empathetic, and caring - qualities we rarely attribute to a book, but this one is. It comes out Tuesday (and if you’re in NYC, please come to her book party!), and I highly recommend picking up the physical copy to annotate, work through the exercises, and be able to reference easily in the future.
You can find my 2024 reads here, and my November reads here.
Quilted Jacket ($45)
Every time I wear this jacket out, someone stops me to compliment it. And when I tell them it’s an absolute steal from Amazon (and it’s reversible, and there are other patterns and colors), I sorely wish my phone wallpaper was a QR code that linked to it.
I digress. This quilted jacket is incredibly soft, cut perfectly for my shorter torso and 5’4 frame, and is that perfect throw-on-and-go piece that makes any outfit. As tempted as I am to get another, I’m really content with my blues/pink floral one that zhushes up my usual jeans and t-shirt.
The only downside? No pockets. It’s still worth it.
Find this month’s Amazon favorites here.
Zooey Zephyr Wants to Do Right by Montana
published in Teen Vogue
“I think about the way peace requires us to commune with people who hold antithetical beliefs to us in kind, genuine, and delicate ways.” She told us that she tries to approach every conversation with three things in mind: “First of which is that the person I'm talking to came to their beliefs genuinely. The second is that they hold beliefs that were nuanced. And the third is that they are willing to change their mind under the right circumstances. That is not true of everyone. That is particularly not true of everyone in politics. But I believe that about my opinions.”
We have a lot to learn from Zooey Zephyr, a state representative in Montana. She received national attention for her vocal opposition to Senate Bill 99 (banning gender-affirming medical and surgical care for children) and subsequent censure last year, and there is so much more to her and her work outside of this major issue.
Zephyr brings a both/and approach to leadership that I think is vital today - being steadfast in your values while doing what you can, the best you can, consistently and quietly. Her belief in everyone deserving dignity and safety can be seen in her legislative efforts, from protecting trans rights in Montana to tenant protections and infrastructure repairs.
Hope is a choice, and a hard one right now. This fantastic interview fanned the flickering flame of hope in my heart - I hope it does the same for you.
New additions to my beauty routine that are worth every penny - a shower salve that replaces your post-shower lotion, a gentle Vitamin C serum that leaves you glowing, and the best setting spray.
If ‘cozy winter calm’ was a playlist, it’s this one. We’ve been playing it nonstop.
Washing my hair more frequently (every 4-5 days instead of once a week) has made a noticeable difference in my hair fall out. I alternate between Verb’s purple shampoo, Aavrani’s clarifying shampoo, and Kerastate’s hydrating purple shampoo.
I’m officially in my cozy novella season, and am working my way through Shibani’s well-curated list.
We’ve been harvesting herbs from our Click-And-Grow garden, and it makes me inexplicably happy to see fresh food growing in our home (and surviving my very black thumb). I’ve got my eye on this upgrade kit to grow even more food (and happiness in the process).
I updated my Flagship with a ‘curl up at home’ collection with my favorite winter essentials - a cozy blanket, a new jigsaw puzzle, a new Kindle case, shower steamers, and everything you need for an at-home facial.
If you enjoyed this weekend’s letter, please consider:
tapping the ❤️ icon below
tapping the 💬 and share your own ‘what I do when I don’t feel like it’ hack
upgrading your subscription, if budget permits. #5SmartReads is sent every Tuesday morning (get 50% off your annual subscription - only today!).
Please take exquisite care of yourself this week.
xo,
HPN
Just a quick note that it says you’re offering a subscription for $30/month instead year, in case that causes people to not click through and see that it’s a typo!
This is exactly what I needed to read. I too fell into a scrolling spiral last week - what to do when you don't want to do anything is such a real feeling. Thank you for sharing!