what are your beige flags?
just the hits #15
I love an uneventful week.
I ventured out on Tuesday to introduce my friend Israa at her book launch, hosted our friends and their kids for a playdate over the weekend, and spent the rest of the time at home (logging hours at my desk, and enjoying family time in the mornings and evenings).
It was amazing.
This week’s mundanity may have made me aware of my beige flags - quirky traits that are uniquely me (and raise eyebrows or confused expressions from my loved ones).
Is loving a normal, uneventful week quirky enough to be a beige flag? Doubtful. But here are some of my noticeable ones:
I’m a frequent furniture re-arranger, especially when I’m feeling mentally stuck. I finally cleared off and moved the pink couch in my home office this week, and the space feels immediately bigger and clearer. Another beige flag? Just staring at the space every time I walk by, taking it all in.
I will listen to the same song, over and over, stopping just before I hit the point when I’ll be sick of it forever. That’s where I’m at with Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande’s Defying Gravity (anyone else? everyone else?). Some of my previous fixation songs are Will You Be There (the Michael Jackson song from Free Willy), Favorite Record by Fall Out Boy, Believe by Cher, A Sky Full of Stars (the Sing! version is Rho’s favorite), and Breathless by The Corrs.
When I run on the treadmill or ride my Peloton, I have to set my resistance, incline, and speed to numbers ending in 0 or 5 (or 0.0 or 0.5) - nothing in between.
I’m a compulsive book re-reader, but I have to alternate the formats when I re-read. I just finished Iron Flame (the dramatized, full cast versions) and I am slightly feral and heartbroken in equal measure. It’s an excellent refresher before Onyx Storm is released, especially as I’ve forgotten a lot of what happened (though that hasn’t stopped me from passionately recommending this series, and every other book I share).
I eat the same breakfast virtually every day - and when I dare mix it up on a weekday, it throws me off my balanced meal game for the rest of the day. I learned this the hard way when I opted for leftover pad Thai on Tuesday morning instead of my usual yogurt + cereal with milk. Real milk in my cereal, always. And oat milk in my coffee (unless my mom is making me filter coffee, and then I let her do whatever she wants).
My beige flags are hidden in plain sight in my monthly plan - a done-for-you collection of mindfulness practices, workouts, recipes, and things bringing me joy right now. If you’re in a “I need to take care of myself but don’t know how” rut, I hope it helps you:
I would be so appreciative if you upgrade your subscription to help support #5SmartReads (my weekly news series that amplifies underreported stories and underrepresented perspectives). I’m taking a note from
and am lowering the annual subscription to $30/year for the rest of the year.Catch up on the latest here:
Flamingo Estate: The Guide to Becoming Alive
by Richard Christiansen
I can’t think of the last time I properly read a coffee table book. But I spent a solid hour reading through the interviews and essays of this stunning, brilliant book from the founder of Flamingo Estate.
It’s as gorgeous as you would expect. But I was blown away at the depth of the interviews with some of the most brilliant people - Jane Goodall, Alice Waters,
- on living a life of beauty and pleasure and luxury through engaging your senses (and not about spending money, though this book may very much influence a purchase or two from Flamingo Estate’s shop).This book would be a perfect gift for yourself, for the rich aunties who spoil you or your kids, or those wealthy people in your life who are generous and you have no clue what to get them.
You can find my 2024 reads here, and my November reads here.
HANNI Splash Salve ($27 $34)
I’m on my third tub of the item that has replaced my post-shower lotion - and my skin and mood has never been happier.
It leaves your skin perfectly hydrated (not too dry, not too greasy) right out of the shower, and the subtle fragrance is so beautiful and calming. As the weather cools, I do need to apply a body butter to my elbows, knees, and heels, but the rest of my body is perfectly moisturized with this salve alone.
Find this month’s Amazon favorites here.
How to survive the broligarchy: 20 lessons for the post-truth world
published in The Guardian
This piece is, without a doubt, the most useful article I’ve read in the wake of the election.
It’s a mix of specific tactics (spend less time online, ramp up your digital security measures), hard lessons to stomach, and how to stand in your truth (both privately and publicly).
If you’re wondering what makes this article different from the countless others that have populated the Internet over the past two weeks, it’s because Carole Cadwalladr has survived her own personal war with the broligarchy. She helped expose the Facebook-Cambridge Analytica data scandal, malpractice and illicit funding within the pro-Brexit campaign, and Russia’s increasing influence in western democracy. She has also survived a libel case filed by Arron Banks (one of the major donors of Leave.EU campaign), which her lawyers are seeking to appeal at the European Court of Human Rights.
Cadwalladr has been sounding the alarm bells of authoritarianism for years now, and I’ll admit that I didn’t take her warnings as seriously as I wish I had (hindsight, man).
I am heeding every word of this piece, especially these:
“Throw up the Kool-Aid. You drank it. That’s OK. We all did. But now is the time to stick your fingers down your throat and get that sick tech bro poison out of your system. Phones were – still are – a magic portal into a psychedelic fun house of possibility. They’re also tracking and surveilling you even as you sleep while a Silicon Valley edgelord plots ways to tear up the federal government.”
How I’m doing it: reading more physical books, doing jigsaw puzzles, writing longhand first before typing things up, and daily walks (the lack of rain for over a month is deeply disturbing, but I’m trying to make the most of it).
A very helpful listen to take the pressure off the rest of the year while still getting everything done.
Having worn and washed this sweatsuit every week for the past 2 months, I can heartily endorse it for comfort and quality. I throw on a long wool coat over it when I’m running errands or doing the school run, inspired by the stylish
.Would you hire an Etsy witch? I’m tempted.
I refreshed some of these essentials:
my favorite underwear - it now has a non-slip band on top and offers gentle compression (while still being the most comfortable I’ve worn). Their mid rise have been my go-to for years now, and I like the super high waist to wear under dresses.
I got the black version of my beloved Atoms, and these thin merino wool socks for the colder temperatures that are finally here.
I took advantage of the Black Friday deal for my favorite shampoo (perfectly timed, as my current bottle is nearly finished)
Two delightful show recommendations (both on the Hallmark Channel):
Finding Mr. Christmas (a reality show to cast Hallmark’s newest leading man), hosted by Jonathan Bennett (one of my favorite Hallmark leading men) - available on Roku, for free
Holidazed (an ensemble show centered on neighbors in the same cul-de-sac - each episode follows a different family, and I love how each episode is intertwined with others). This is exclusive to Hallmark+ subscribers (a streamer that is worth every penny for all the happy films and shows)
Two ‘treat yoself’ purchases - a wristlet phone case (I love that this one has great protection reviews and the strap can be attached at any corner) and a new Kindle case (cannot recommend this brand more - it withstands my heavy duty reading/traveling use)
An important reminder on the power of kindness over fear
If you enjoyed this weekend’s letter, please consider:
tapping the ❤️ icon below
tapping the 💬 and share your own ‘what I do when I don’t feel like it’ hack
upgrading your subscription, if budget permits. #5SmartReads is sent every Tuesday morning (get 50% off your annual subscription - only today!).
Please take exquisite care of yourself this week.
xo,
HPN