what I do when I’m feeling anxious
just the hits #36
Aah, anxiety. My old friend.
My plate is full with the end of the school year (a challenging one for my eldest), packing and prepping the kids for new camps, launching a huge critical path action at work, and managing my dad’s medical appointments.
Naturally, my anxiety decided to pay me a visit. And because we don’t gatekeep, here are the little things I do to survive my anxiety spells:
A ‘little things’ to do list. I write down the tiniest actions - brushing my teeth, making the bed, eating breakfast - on this list to get myself out of bed and inching through the day. Most days, the first thing I write down is “write a little things to do list.”
We listen and we don’t judge.
Offline time. I’ve been aggressively using the Forest app for hours a day, starting with a 2 hour timer in the mornings and a 3 hour timer at 8 pm. Activations is one of the few apps on my “allow list”, and I keep positive affirmations playing from the app throughout the day.
Get ready ready. I regret to inform you that putting on a non-loungewear outfit, brushing out your hair, and applying a bit of makeup will boost your mood even if you’re feeling awful.
This shirt? Instant mood lifter.
Dopamine lifts. The little things - going for a walk without my phone, re-watching or re-reading my favorite things, mindlessly doodling - boost my dopamine without spiking it the way social media does. These little things lift my mood, and I rarely notice any kind of crash afterwards.
I’m constantly re-reading Innkeeper Chronicles, and my comfort movies are Mamma Mia, Crazy Rich Asians, and any of Amanda Bynes’ early 2000s rom coms.
Be (a tiny bit) social. As much as I want to burrow onto my couch and never leave, I know it’ll keep me stuck in this spiral for longer than I need or want to be. A 1:1 friend date - meeting for a walk, grabbing lunch or coffee - does gently boost my mental state. It’s probably the hardest thing to do when I’m feeling anxious - I tend to withdraw and hide, and feel the need to apologize when I finally come up for air.
Homemade food. The last thing I usually want to do is cook, but home cooked meals are the best thing for me when I’m anxious. I stick with the most simple recipes - Instant Pot khichdi, baked tacos, chili cheese toast. If I’m in a really low moment, I’ll pop some rice in the rice cooker and heat a Brooklyn Delhi rajma packet.
Play. I’ll grab the kids’ Lego bin or one of their puzzles and will just build with no real plan. The boys usually join me, and it’s really nice to zone out while keeping my hands busy. We’ve had some of our best conversations during moments like these.
Cozy reading time. My favorite weeknight ritual! After dinner and showers, we pile onto the couch, play some classical music, and read our respective books. This routine helps all of us wind down for the night, and I sleep noticeably better when we do it.
Medication also helps. It helps a lot.
What do you do when you’re feeling anxious?
Catch up on the latest posts:
This is the only correct book ranking system. Also, this is the best episode of Trackstar to ever exist.
Your questions from Instagram, answered: the blouse and the purse I wore earlier this week, the camp labels we ordered, and the Serpenti-inspired watch I’ve been wearing lately.
A few excellent reads - on high functioning depression with
, a beautifully honest piece on imposter syndrome by , embracing a Jam Girl Summer with , and an eclectic, fantastic essay by .I just finished another one of my favorite journals (and a total of 6 over the past year). I don’t know what sorcery Rifle Paper Co puts in them, but they’re the only ones I’ve ever finished.
Books I’m currently juggling right now - The Crucial Years (which I raved about here), Atmosphere (I feel like this is Taylor Jenkins Reid’s best book yet), and I’m re-reading Thank You For Listening over audiobook for book club.
It’s undergarment refresh time. I swapped out my stretched out bras for these bralettes and seamless bras, got these to wear under white skirts, and ordered a new set of my favorite underwear.
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I hope you have a wonderful week.
xo,
HPN
I sit on my deck & just chill & practice square breathing
When I’m feeling anxious, really experiencing either a hot cup of tea or cold glass of ice water.
Bird-listening with the Merlin app is also a great way to accidentally meditate for 15-30 minutes.
Hang in there ❤️